It's Been a While

I don't even know where to begin!! It's been so long since I've updated or even had a chance to get on a computer! Now that I am back at work, we stay on a daily schedule and even though it allows me SOME free time, Justin and I try to spend that time together. Not to mention that we still have a house that needs to be cleaned, laundry to do, dishes to wash, errands to run, groceries to buy, etc... You get the point. Computer time seems to fall towards the end of those priorities....I'm sure you understand.

Austin is 12 weeks old now! He is growing so much every day and is just the sweetest, cutest thing I have ever seen. It was extremely hard to leave him at day-care that first day. I cried the day before, I cried that morning getting ready and driving to work, I cried at the day-care and I cried once I got to work. I went to see him during lunch and spent almost my entire lunch hour there at school rocking him and feeding him. It definitely makes 5:00 soooo much better, knowing that I get to go pick him up and see that smiling face again!

He slept through the night for the first time the night of my last blog update - the night before I returned to work! My baby knew how bad his mommy needed some sleep that night! We were amazed when we woke up the next morning and realized that we had slept all night without any interruptions. He still continues to sleep through the night and is thriving on the schedule we started him on. He loves his bath time and it gets him really relaxed right before bed. I love to see him smiling and kicking around in his bathtub! We're so thankful that he is a baby that enjoys the water...I can't imagine him fussing and screaming every time I gave him a bath!

He had his two month old checkup a few weeks ago and got his first set of shots. He did pretty good and only cried when we had to hold his arms and legs down so that he wouldn't hit the nurse with his flailing limbs while she stuck him. Once the sticks were over and I could pick him up, he calmed right down. I think I had more tears than he did! Other than that, the doctor said he is perfectly healthy and was happy about his growth. He weighed 12.2 pounds, was 24in long and was in the 90th percentile for height and 80th percentile for weight.

Last night he did the most amazing thing!! I've noticed the last few days that he has been putting his lips together like he is trying to make a "mmmm" sound. He's also had a little bit of spit when he does that so it made me think that he is trying to start blowing bubbles. Well, last night I had him on the changing table and was just talking to him and making faces and I started making that noise where you put your lips together and blow out - you know, it makes your lips vibrate and makes that funny noise. Well, after watching me do it, he kept trying and trying. Finally he did it himself!!! It only took him a few tries and he did it! It was the coolest thing to watch him mimic me - he was learning right before our eyes! Of course once we got the video camera ready, he wouldn't do it again! Maybe next time we can get it on film!

Last weekend Justin and I went to the beach with our best friends Scottie and Beth Ann for a joint bachelor/bachelorette weekend. We had a great time, although I enjoyed one too many cocktails Friday night and paid for it dearly. Hard to know your limit when you haven't drank in a year!! Their wedding was amazing and so much fun! We felt so blessed to be a part of their big day. They are such dear friends and it meant the world to us to be there with them during this special time.

That's about all I have time for now but hopefully I'll get some pictures posted soon!

Back to Work

Wow, has it been six weeks already?! I can't believe Austin is six weeks old today, but what's really getting me is the fact that I have to go back to work tomorrow. A few weeks ago, I was SOOO ready to go back. Today...not so much. I have already cried today just thinking about having to leave him tomorrow. Even though we have our tough (fussy) moments during the day, it has been so great spending every day with him and bonding with him. We know each other so well now and I'm already dreading not spending all day tomorrow with him. But it has to be done and I know I'll get through it. I'm not the first mom to have to leave their child at daycare so I know it can be done :)

Austin is growing so much every day! He is getting more of a personality and has started making lots of oooh and aahh sounds. He loves to hear the sound of his voice (and so does Mommy of course!), and when he's in a really good mood, he'll just sit there and "talk" to himself. He has been making smiley faces, although I don't think he really smiled for the first time until Saturday. We had professional pictures taken of him on Saturday and he lit up and smiled so big during his photo shoot!! Luckily, I think the photographer got a picture of him as he was smiling so I'm really excited to see the proofs.

He makes the cutest pouty face that just melts my heart!! Sometimes I look at his face and it's almost as if I'm looking at our 4D ultrasound pictures from so long ago. It's the exact same face I saw then, which is so amazing to me. He's got a case of baby acne right now and I'm hoping that it goes away soon. It started around four weeks and I've read it could stick around for a few months. I really hope that it clears up sooner than that!! His really isn't that bad though and could be much worse, but I do miss that pretty, smooth face!

We have been having some trouble getting him to sleep between about 10pm and 2am. For some reason, he is wide awake at this time and is usually pretty fussy. He doesn't sleep much during the day so I think he is just so exhausted and ill from no sleep that he gets fussy at night. Of course, the more he fusses, the longer he is awake and it seems to be this never ending cycle!! I read the book "Babywise" on Saturday and so we have started trying to get him on a schedule and using the book as a guide. I'm not sure how well it is going to work for us since we are already six weeks in, or how much I agree with some of the things it teaches you to do, but two nights into this "sleep training", he slept for seven hours straight from 9pm to 4am!! So, I guess we're doing pretty good so far!! If he had gone to sleep a few hours later, he would have slept through the night!!

I'm a little apprehensive about pumping at work tomorrow! We want to continue giving him breast milk as long as possible, so I have to continue pumping during the day to keep my milk supply up and have food for him the next day at day care. I'm just nervous I won't have enough milk to give him! We are still supplementing with formula when we have to so I know that we have a back-up in place. I just hope that I am able to pump enough during the day to feed him the next day. I believe my building has a private "Mother's Room" that I can use, but I know it will take some time to get used to having to leave my desk a few times during the day to go pump in a strange and unfamiliar place. But once again, other mom's have had to do it so I'm sure I'll find a way to manage.

It's just so hard to believe how different our lives were just six weeks ago. They say parenthood changes your lives, but I don't think there is any way to prepare yourself for just how much your lives will change. Just sitting down for an hour and watching your favorite show each week is tough (thank goodness for DVR!). I think that we have done a good job of adjusting though. Once we get the sleep thing under control and get into a good daily routine, things will get so much easier. A few weeks ago I was convinced I would never do this again. Today, I feel right the opposite (just not any time soon!).

Now a quick update on life outside of Austin - our friends Scott and Beth Ann are getting married next month and since Justin and I are both in the wedding, we have lots to do to prepare! I have GOT to get back into shape for one thing! I have lost all the pregnancy pounds, but that doesn't mean there isn't still a little belly jiggle going on! I started Jillian Michaels "30 Day Shred" DVD workout today (yes, I'll be very sore tomorrow but at least I made it through and didn't quit!) and am hoping to get back into the gym soon. We have a few showers for them coming up and we're going to the beach in March for a joint bachelor/bachelorette weekend (swimsuit...yikes!). Then, the wedding is March 27! We are so excited to be a part of their big day - let's just hope my dress fits!

Nikki is still in the middle of her chemo treatment and found out that her insurance really DID approve the clinical study she was going to participate in. Because of human error, she missed out on the opportunity to participate in it. I have always believed that everything happens for a reason...maybe we'll call that human error "divine intervention". Please keep her in your prayers as she has another chemo treatment tomorrow.

I hope everyone had a great weekend and enjoyed the snow!! Please keep me in your thoughts tomorrow...it will be a tough day!

4 Weeks in Pictures

Daddy checking him out

Weighing in at 8lbs 12oz

Getting his first bath!

His first paci that Mom and Dad did not want to give him!

Uncle Keith and Aunt Jenn

Getting a bottle from Daddy

Uncle Scottie and Aunt Beth Ann

Aunt Jenn

I could snuggle with him all day!

Ahhh, life is tough.. :)

4 Weeks Already?!

Four weeks ago at this very moment, I had just begun my pushing journey. In less than two hours, my little man would make it into the world. It's hard to believe how fast these last four weeks have gone by. I won't say that they have been easy, but they have been fun and exciting. I will be going back to work in two weeks, and I was really afraid that I would be dreading going back to work and that six weeks wouldn't be enough time off. I will say that thought changed about two weeks ago!! As much as I love being with Austin all day, I am very ready to have the responsibility taken off of me for nine hours of the day. I know that first day away from him will be very hard, but I need a break!! I welcome the weekends when Justin is home all day and is able to share the parenting duties with me. What am I saying?? I welcome 5:00 when he gets off of work and comes home to help me!!

This past weekend my mom came into town on Saturday and spent the night with us. Fortunately for us, she kept Austin in her room that night and took the middle of the night feedings so that Justin and I could catch up on some sleep. We slept great, and even though I still had to wake up during the night to pump, it was awesome and a much needed break. Thanks again, Mom! One day, maybe I can return that favor for my grand-baby!

Austin is GROWING so fast!! He went to the doctor when he was 2.5 weeks old and was already weighing 9lbs 7oz!! He gained almost a pound since birth and the doctor was so excited about how much he was growing and eating. The little man is an EATER for sure! I can hardly keep up with his appetite! Sometimes he stops at 3oz and other times he can knock back 5+!! I can't wait to see what he weighs at his two month appointment. He will start getting his vaccinations then...something Mommy does not look forward to!! I am dreading watching him get stuck over and over again and hearing him cry! :(

The nursing has gotten better over the last two weeks or so. It's not hurting as bad so I think I have healed from the damage he did early on with his bad latch, and I also think that his latch is correcting itself. Our biggest complaint with breast feeding is that you have no idea how much he is getting. Sometimes he will nurse for 45+ minutes, then take two ounces from a bottle of milk that I have pumped!! So either he has a massive appetite, or he's not getting as much as he needs in one sitting. I will continue pumping all the time when I go back to work, but I'm not sure if I will continue nursing him. Maybe once or twice at night but there definitely won't be enough time in the mornings since he is a slow nurser and a lingerer :)

I still have very emotional days, where I just cry for no apparent reason. I'll be glad when the hormones settle back down! It's getting better though and I'm just so happy! Austin brightens my day and I love seeing his little grin and laughing at all the funny faces he makes! Even his cry makes me smile! He has this one cry that is just the most pitiful sound you have ever heard. It's basically his whiny cry and it makes Justin and I laugh every time because he just sounds so pitiful!! It's really sweet and I wish I could bottle up that sound and keep it forever!

Well, I guess that's all I have for now. Please keep my friend Nikki in your prayers. The insurance company denied her participating in the clinical trial so now she is back on an old chemo cocktail that she has taken before. Her first tests showed that her numbers had gone way down, so hopefully this chemo will do it's job again!!

Have a great week and stay warm!!


I love this little outfit!

So sweet...

Big yawn!!

Sprawled out...loving life!

I can't get enough of this sweet little face!

Austin's 2 Week Birthday

***This was post was started on Monday....finished on Tuesday! :)

It's hard to believe that two weeks have already gone by. They say that things get easier...I will say that they have, although I'm still finding struggles along the way. Let me back up for a minute and recap the last two weeks from when we left the hospital...

The day we left, I was having trouble nursing. Austin has a bad latch and it was becoming extremely frustrating for me and for him. I had a great lactation consultant that worked with me for a long time but I was still not feeling 100% confident about going home and doing things on my own. The nurse said that Austin's bilirubin (sp?) level was a little high and the doctor wanted to see him first thing the next morning. Since we were coming off of a bad night, full of screaming and fussiness and no sleep, we were not excited to get this news. We had had a long night and ended up sending Austin to the nursery around 3:30am because Justin and I knew that we had to get SOME sleep in order to function the next day. I wish I could say that things got better when we got home, but they didn't. We had another sleepless night and didn't know what in the world was wrong with him.

At the doctor's appointment the next morning, we found out that his bili level was too high and they were going to send a nurse out to our house to set up a jaundice bed/light for him to sleep on for the next few days until his level returned to normal. The doctor also suggested that we supplement formula until my milk came in. When we got home, the first thing we did was give Austin a bottle of formula. Hearing him gulp it down and hearing it hit his stomach was music to our ears. Justin and I were both in tears but it felt so good to hear our baby getting some nutrients. It was hard hearing that though because as a nursing mom, you begin to think, "Why can't I give that to him? Is there something wrong with me or my milk?" I know that is far from the truth, but the thoughts run through your head and you begin to feel so inadequate.

The nurses came out every day to check his weight and bili level, and finally on Saturday we got the news that his level was normal and he could come off the bed. We had to see the doctor again Sunday morning so we actually kept him on the bed during the night, just to be safe. The next day the doctor confirmed that his level was back to normal and everything was looking great. Yaaaay!! We could finally hold him and play with him! When they are confined to the bili bed, they can only be out of it for about an hour at a time for feedings, so our first few days at home with him, we couldn't even hold him or cuddle with him!

Since then, things have been going really well until last night - he is having some gas problems so he was very squirmy and fussy ALL night. Waking up during the night for feedings and pumping has not really gotten easier, but it's doable. The good thing is, I'm able to nap during the day to catch up on sleep.

Today I am attempting our first outing. I am very nervous about it but I know it needs to be done sooner than later. So we're going to Hobby Lobby and to visit Justin at work. ***It's now Tuesday afternoon and I'm finishing the post! Our outing went great - no mishaps or breakdowns! Enjoy a few pics below!


Leaving the hospital

Austin's first car ride, going home from the hospital!

One of my favorite pics - look at that sweet little face!

An up-close pic of Austin in the bili bed

In the bili bed!

Austin's Arrival

Well, we finally have a baby!!! I have not really had much of a chance to update the blog with the labor/delivery story but I'm finally getting an opportunity now. So here goes!!

6:00am - We arrived at the hospital and were immediately taken into our room. I changed into the robe and they started the IV drip.
7:20am - Dr. Gregory came in and broke my water. I cannot begin to describe what a bizarre feeling this was!! I had no idea what to expect - a gush? a trickle? It was definitely a gush and I could not stop laughing at the sensation! It really feels like you're peeing all over yourself, and I kept asking the doctor and the nurse if I was peeing or if that was the fluid! It continued to come in gushes for a while and every time it happened, I just died laughing again! Dr. G also started the Pitocin so I was preparing myself for the start of contractions. I was at 3cm and 70% effaced which is good, but the doctor was worried that he was still really high. She was already talking about a c-section because she wanted to warn me that if he didn't drop during the day, we would probably have to do the section. I have been very clear throughout this pregnancy that a c-section was the LAST thing I wanted and I was determined to do whatever I could to keep that from happening.
8:20am - Here come the contractions!! Oh my were they strong! It felt like menstrual cramps, only 10 times worse! I never felt any pain in my stomach, just the lower abdomen. They went ahead and started some pain medicine through the IV, which really didn't do much but make me a little loopy. I guess you could say it took the edge off the pain, but not enough!
9:30am - Dr. G came back in to re-check my progress. I was dilated 3-4cm and was 80% effaced. I was told I could get the epidural at any time, but I really wanted to keep going as long as I could without it. The amniotic fluid was still gushing out periodically. By this time, Justin's Aunt Judy was there and his mom, dad, my mom and best friend Jenn were on their way.
10:26am - The contractions got MUCH worse! My mom and Justin's mom were there at this time so they helped to get me through each contraction. They were coming about every minute and were lasting 60-70 seconds. Needless to say, I wasn't getting a long time of relief between each one. I was really close to getting the epidural but was trying to hold out until Jenn got there. I thought that maybe she would give me an extra boost to keep going, and at the same time, I guess I wanted to see how long I could take them. The pain was awful though...pain like I've never experienced before in my life. I had no idea contractions hurt that badly. Everyone in the room was encouraging me to get the epidural, but I was being stubborn (guess that's where Austin get's it from!)
11:00am - I couldn't take it any longer....bring on that epi!! Jenn got there in time to go through about 15 minutes of contractions with me till finally I gave in. The epi didn't hurt one bit - a breeze compared to the contractions! It felt like a little prick...getting the IV was much worse! After the epi, the doc came in to check me again and I was at 5-6cm, 90% and she said he was beginning to drop some! I was starting to get really encouraged that it wouldn't be much longer if he would just continue to drop, and the chances of a c-section were getting slimmer. By this time, Beth Ann, Emily and Harb had gotten there to keep me company and we had a room full of folks! Luckily we had an awesome nurse who quickly became part of the family and didn't mind us having so many people in the room.
11:40am - Dr. G came in to check me again and although I hadn't progressed much more, she said I was "stretchy", which is apparently a good thing?!
1:45pm - Dr. G and the nurse checked me and I was at 9.5cm!! There wasn't much left but they were beginning to get concerned over Austin's heart rate. It was going up too high during the contractions so they stopped the Pitocin and put me on an oxygen mask to see if that would calm him down.
2:15pm - I was still at 9.5cm but his heart rate calmed down so they started up the Pitocin again - good thing I couldn't feel those contractions b/c they were apparently off the chart! During this time, I was beginning to get really tired. I closed my eyes and tried to relax and just listened to everyone else in the room chat away. They really helped me not get too overwhelmed with what was happening and offered a much needed distraction.
4:20pm - Dr. G said I was finally at 10cm and wanted me to start "practice" pushing to see if I could push Austin down some because he was still really high. I had no idea that these "practice" pushes would continue for two hours and that they weren't really practice pushes at all. Once I started, I didn't stop and pushed through every contraction with only a few breaks - and when I say break, I mean like 2 minutes because we didn't push during one contraction. I wanted my mom, Justin's mom and my best friend Jenn in the room with me and Justin. These people mean the world to me and I wanted them there with me and I wanted them to witness Austin's birth. Having my mom and Jenn on one side and Justin and his mom on the other side was great. They pushed with me through every single contraction and I know they were worn out after it was over. One of the reasons I pushed for so long was because his head was stuck under the pubic bone. It took probably an entire hour or more just to push him underneath it. The doctor came in periodically and was still thinking that a c-section could be in the cards, but she said as long as I was okay and he was okay, she would let me push as long as I wanted to. Since I was so determined not to have a c-section, I was prepared to push as long as I physically could. I had no idea how hard labor would be, but it was definitely the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life.
5:45pm - Dr. G came back in to get ready for the delivery. Everyone was telling me how close I was, but I didn't believe them until Dr. G told me to reach down and touch his head. When I felt that head full of hair, I realized that he was almost out!! It was enough to give me that extra boost to keep going because by this time, I was exhausted. I had to get a boost for my epidural because I was beginning to feel some awful burning pain once his head got so far down. Dr. G told me that she was going to have to do an episiotomy because Austin was so wide - we had no idea he was going to be that big! As Austin was coming out, his shoulders got stuck. Dr. G stood up and sprung right into action and immediately I felt the atmosphere in the room change and get very intense. I could see everyone's faces and knew that something was wrong, but all I could do was keep pushing with all my might. Dr. G had to reach in and twist and pull him out, which caused me to tear on the inside and outside.
6:08pm - Austin arrived!! It wasn't easy and he put up a fight till the very end. It took Dr. G 40 minutes to sew me up because he did some major damage getting out of there (4th degree lacerations!). He weighed 8lbs 12 oz and was 21 1/4 inches long. Because of the problem with him coming out, Dr. G had to cut the cord immediately. Luckily, once they got Austin on the table, Justin got to re-cut it again. It was a while before I got to hold him, but I don't think I took my eyes off of him while they were cleaning him up. His eyes were wide open as he came out but he didn't cry, which they were concerned about. They thought that maybe he wasn't getting enough oxygen. After a few tests, they determined that he was breathing fine and just wasn't going to cry at the time.
Finally, our friends and family got to come into the room and everyone watched as he was measured and given his first bath. I can't begin to tell you how great it felt to have so many people there with us during that special time. We have wonderful friends and family and it meant the world to us that they were there and got to experience that with us. Eventually everyone had to leave the room again so Austin and I could have our skin to skin time and I could try to breastfeed him. We got to our room a little while later and attempted to get some sleep. The first night wasn't so bad...the second night, a disaster. He cried and cried, was not nursing well (it didn't help that he has a bad latch) and Justin and I were thinking, "What the hell have we done?" It was awful and the first night at home was about the same. The next week and a half will have to be updated at a later date...my back is killing me and I think this post is long enough :) Enjoy a few pics of our little dude!

Austin's Birthday!

Today is Austin's birthday!! We finally made it! I am 40 weeks and 2 days pregnant today and Austin decided he wasn't coming on his own. It is 5:25am and we're about to leave for the hospital to be induced. The doctor should come in around 7am to get everything started. We're not sure yet if they will break my water first before they start the Pitocin or what. I am going in 2.5cm dilated so we're 25% of the way there already. We're really hoping they break my water and give my body a chance to have contractions on it's own before they give me the Pitocin. Hopefully it won't be too long of a day and I'm hoping and praying that I don't have to have a c-section. We shall see!! The next time I update this blog, I will be a MOMMY!!!! :)