Back to Work

Wow, has it been six weeks already?! I can't believe Austin is six weeks old today, but what's really getting me is the fact that I have to go back to work tomorrow. A few weeks ago, I was SOOO ready to go back. Today...not so much. I have already cried today just thinking about having to leave him tomorrow. Even though we have our tough (fussy) moments during the day, it has been so great spending every day with him and bonding with him. We know each other so well now and I'm already dreading not spending all day tomorrow with him. But it has to be done and I know I'll get through it. I'm not the first mom to have to leave their child at daycare so I know it can be done :)

Austin is growing so much every day! He is getting more of a personality and has started making lots of oooh and aahh sounds. He loves to hear the sound of his voice (and so does Mommy of course!), and when he's in a really good mood, he'll just sit there and "talk" to himself. He has been making smiley faces, although I don't think he really smiled for the first time until Saturday. We had professional pictures taken of him on Saturday and he lit up and smiled so big during his photo shoot!! Luckily, I think the photographer got a picture of him as he was smiling so I'm really excited to see the proofs.

He makes the cutest pouty face that just melts my heart!! Sometimes I look at his face and it's almost as if I'm looking at our 4D ultrasound pictures from so long ago. It's the exact same face I saw then, which is so amazing to me. He's got a case of baby acne right now and I'm hoping that it goes away soon. It started around four weeks and I've read it could stick around for a few months. I really hope that it clears up sooner than that!! His really isn't that bad though and could be much worse, but I do miss that pretty, smooth face!

We have been having some trouble getting him to sleep between about 10pm and 2am. For some reason, he is wide awake at this time and is usually pretty fussy. He doesn't sleep much during the day so I think he is just so exhausted and ill from no sleep that he gets fussy at night. Of course, the more he fusses, the longer he is awake and it seems to be this never ending cycle!! I read the book "Babywise" on Saturday and so we have started trying to get him on a schedule and using the book as a guide. I'm not sure how well it is going to work for us since we are already six weeks in, or how much I agree with some of the things it teaches you to do, but two nights into this "sleep training", he slept for seven hours straight from 9pm to 4am!! So, I guess we're doing pretty good so far!! If he had gone to sleep a few hours later, he would have slept through the night!!

I'm a little apprehensive about pumping at work tomorrow! We want to continue giving him breast milk as long as possible, so I have to continue pumping during the day to keep my milk supply up and have food for him the next day at day care. I'm just nervous I won't have enough milk to give him! We are still supplementing with formula when we have to so I know that we have a back-up in place. I just hope that I am able to pump enough during the day to feed him the next day. I believe my building has a private "Mother's Room" that I can use, but I know it will take some time to get used to having to leave my desk a few times during the day to go pump in a strange and unfamiliar place. But once again, other mom's have had to do it so I'm sure I'll find a way to manage.

It's just so hard to believe how different our lives were just six weeks ago. They say parenthood changes your lives, but I don't think there is any way to prepare yourself for just how much your lives will change. Just sitting down for an hour and watching your favorite show each week is tough (thank goodness for DVR!). I think that we have done a good job of adjusting though. Once we get the sleep thing under control and get into a good daily routine, things will get so much easier. A few weeks ago I was convinced I would never do this again. Today, I feel right the opposite (just not any time soon!).

Now a quick update on life outside of Austin - our friends Scott and Beth Ann are getting married next month and since Justin and I are both in the wedding, we have lots to do to prepare! I have GOT to get back into shape for one thing! I have lost all the pregnancy pounds, but that doesn't mean there isn't still a little belly jiggle going on! I started Jillian Michaels "30 Day Shred" DVD workout today (yes, I'll be very sore tomorrow but at least I made it through and didn't quit!) and am hoping to get back into the gym soon. We have a few showers for them coming up and we're going to the beach in March for a joint bachelor/bachelorette weekend (swimsuit...yikes!). Then, the wedding is March 27! We are so excited to be a part of their big day - let's just hope my dress fits!

Nikki is still in the middle of her chemo treatment and found out that her insurance really DID approve the clinical study she was going to participate in. Because of human error, she missed out on the opportunity to participate in it. I have always believed that everything happens for a reason...maybe we'll call that human error "divine intervention". Please keep her in your prayers as she has another chemo treatment tomorrow.

I hope everyone had a great weekend and enjoyed the snow!! Please keep me in your thoughts tomorrow...it will be a tough day!