Monday, July 7, 2008

A Moment to Vent

I'm sorry that I'm going to take my frustrations out on my blog for anyone and everyone to read, but I have to get it out!!

I am truly amazed at just how badly I have misjudged someone. I mean, I have always thought I was a pretty good judge of character, but oh how I was wrong. Now Justin on the other hand, he can tell you what kind of person someone is after just meeting them. I thought that I had that ability as well. Today, I learned that I don't. It's amazing how someone's true colors come out during a crisis or when emotions are high. So here goes my venting....stop reading now if you don't want to hear my rant. There will be no mention of names or specific actions that occurred, as this is directed at one person who may or may not read this blog. If so, you know who you are.

For someone to call themselves a "true lady" and claim to be a classy woman, or a "real woman" - I beg to differ. You are sooooo wrong. A true lady and a classy woman does NOT do the things that you did. Granted, you might see those things as a payback of some sorts for something wrong that was done against you. But I have never before been thankful that original "event" happened, because I would have never known what kind of person you really are. Thankfully, things unfolded the way they did for a reason. Now I know who you are and realize how badly I misjudged your character. And just remember, WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND. I know you think what you did was funny, and you feel like you have proven a point. But all you have proven is what a sorry person you are. The things that happened two months ago really upset me. I was mad at what happened and I was completely on YOUR side. I did not agree with the actions that were taken (his actions, just to clarify) and the hurt that was placed upon you, and I hoped so badly that things would work out between you two. I hurt for you and I felt your pain. I truly wished I could take it all away and make things right again. I did not, however, see this coming.

You fooled me big time. You fooled myself and my family. I know that you don't see what you did as your fault. But I never thought that you would stoop so low and do the things that you did. I thought you were a bigger person than that. Now, I'm going to quote YOU for a bit. I'm a little unsure how someone "provoked your emotions"....I think really what you're trying to say is that you didn't realize that you had those emotions and those feelings, and the ability to be so mean and cruel. Maybe you should take a step back and look at yourself from the outside. You think you were "pushed to be someone you aren't proud of"? I don't think so.....I think you're someone you aren't proud of on your own. The problem is, it took this chain of events for you to see the kind of person you truly are. And you're not proud of it. Now, whose fault is that??? And oh yeah, so "you gave more than he'll ever know how to"? Really? And how is that? By not learning the concept of responsibility and managing your money? Didn't your car recently get repossessed? And I'm pretty sure this happened AFTER you were on your own. Again, whose fault is that? Hmm, let's see...what else? Oh okay, the "using and pushing" part? What exactly are you talking about? How were you "used and pushed"? I would love to hear your explanation on that!!! "always come out on top" huh? Because of all the "love and support" you have? From who exactly? Your mother? I would find that hard to believe after the things that YOU told me about her. Your sisters? Didn't you always tell me that one of them you don't even get along with? So is it all of your faithful friends that you have? The ones that probably helped you do what you did? Some friends you have. These "friends" are the kind of people who help someone perform an act of cruelty and meanness for nothing more than having the feeling of triumph and excitement. And the best part?!?! From your own words - "you have dignity and class"!!!! I'm still laughing that you can actually believe that!!!! I mean, seriously, do you truly believe that? You truly believe that someone with dignity and class would do the things that you did yesterday? Seriously, you have a warped sense of self. You truly have a misconstrued image of yourself if you really think that you have dignity and class. And just because no "painting or hole patching" has to be done, that is NOT THE POINT. But really, why didn't you just go ahead and mess up the walls and put holes throughout the place? I'm actually kinda surprised that you didn't, with all the other stuff you did!! Ha, I guess you fooled me again didn't you? And nobody is "playing innocent" here except for you. He knows what he did and he has not tried to hide that from you. He knows he did a horrible thing. Trust me, I let him cry into my arms after he told you what he did. I saw the hurt and the guilt with my own eyes, and I felt his pain just like I felt yours. So nobody is trying to play innocent on his side. The fact that you can't see the wrong in what you did shows me that the only person that is playing innocent is YOU.

Again, I'm still confused on how exactly you were used? I would love an explanation on that one!!!! I think it's sick that you can actually tell someone that they "don't deserve an ounce of happiness in their life". Do you honestly believe that? What kind of person wishes that upon someone else? I would never wish you unhappiness. I don't agree with the things that you've done, but that doesn't mean that I hope you live a terrible life full of pain and unhappiness. What kind of sick person thinks that? My family has seen enough pain and unhappiness for you to ever even dream of having. You truly have NO idea what we've been through together. And for you to say that he doesn't deserve an ounce of's just wrong.

Maybe one day you will look back at this and realize how childish and malicious you acted. Maybe you will see the pain and hurt that you also caused. Maybe you will actually regret what you did. I know he does. Or, he did, I should say. I don't really know how he feels anymore, since what you did showed a side of you that we would have never seen otherwise. He doesn't deserve you. He deserves sooooo much better. And you deserve someone that sees you for who you truly are. If they can accept that, and accept you for your true colors, not the lady of class and dignity that you claim to be, then good for them. I hope in all honesty, that you find someone that makes you happy. I hope that you can move past this time in your life, and learn from all the mistakes that were made on BOTH sides. I truly hope that you live a life full of happiness.....because EVERYONE deserves at least that.

No comments: